Archive for October, 2014

Cigar Shaped Cologne

Cigar Shaped Cologne

These cigar shaped colognes may not contain the sweet taste of tobacco but they do smell of bergamot and vetiver, blended with wood and jasmine. What kind of wood? Who gives a rat’s ass! They’re manly colognes in cigars! So slap some on your face and then go eat a steak.

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Epic Tale The Giant Squid

The Salty Sea Dog and the Giant Squid

‘Twas nearly twenty years ago today, off the coast of East Africa, when The Salty Sea Dog set a sail on the Indian Ocean. His schooner the S.S. Fish Sticks was on its way to deliver a crate of seeing-eye dogs and helper monkeys to the underprivileged, blind children of Madagascar.

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Mad Max Tank

Land Cruiser Tank

Whether you’re looking to beef up your perimeter security, infiltrate your neighbor’s communist stronghold, or just re-enact scenes from The Dirty Dozen, This tank is what you need. Nicknamed “The Badonkadonk” , it can cruise up to 40 mph, and has a full PA system ensuring you can be the biggest loudmouth on wheels and be safe within it’s armored shell. It’s operable from inside or popping out the top, so when the coast is clear you can feel the wind in your war torn hair as you cruise into the sunset and on to world domination.

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Spear Harpoon Gun

Spear Gun

It’s time to go catch a whopper the way MEN do! Now you can swim right up to any fish you want for dinner and shoot him in the face. Stop messing around with sticks and string! Jump right into the ocean and start harpooning some scaley sea tunas yourself . This spear gun is intimidating with its compact design, aerospace grade aluminum construction, and grip. It won’t matter if your wrestling a giant octopus 10 meters below or quelling a mutiny on poop deck of your ship, you’ll want this pretty lady by your side.

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hugh hefner Smoking Jacket

Suave Smoking Jacket

Looking for class, style, and sophistication? Well look no further gents. This rich velvet burgundy smoking jacket can turn any schmoe into a suave, intellectual yachtsman just by slipping it on. It’s got three deep pockets lined in black velvet to keep your smoking pipe, lamborgini keys, or bricks of gold safe and secure. The belt tassles add style that only the elite will envy. Why smoke in just a button down when you can wear a jacket that says, “Hey, there’s smoke in these lungs.”

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Fisherman's Yellow Rain Coat

Fisherman’s Raincoat

It’s longshoreman season! Get ready for this year’s crab haul with a brand new raincoat. You’ll be the talk of the galley when you scuttle in wearing this .30mm PVC masterpiece. With a hood drawstring and cuff snaps to keep your bones dry, plus two deep pockets for all the frozen fish sticks you can eat.

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Carve a Chainsaw Eagle

Carve an Eagle with a Chainsaw!

It’s a problem that plagues all of us Manly Men: “I’ve got all these logs laying around and I’ve got nothing to do with them!” Well quit your bitching and start making some eagles! This book will show you how. Transform all your firewood into a variety of eagles. Who needs to stay warm for the winter when you can have eagle’s heads, eagles with fish, soaring eagles, and eagle benches taking up space all over your back yard? Nobody, that’s who. So grease up your chainsaw and get this book now.

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Caddy Shack Bill Murray

Caddyshack : With Bill Murray

This classic film starring Chevy Chase, Bill Murray, and Rodney Dangerfield is a treasure to any man worth his salt. Want golfing? Got it. Want Bill Murray blowing up gophers? Got it. Want a film where Kenny Loggins, “I’m Alright” plays throughout the entire movie? Got it. Let’s just put it this way, if you’re a guy and you DON’T like this movie, you need to have your balls examined.

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Manly Things Medieval Helmet

War Helmet

When was the last time you got into an axe battle? Last week? We thought so. Get this crusader helmet today and literally stop risking your neck. Line the inside with your favorite animal pelt, and then see your enemies driven before you and hear the lamentation of the women!

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Gold Panning Kit

Gold Panning Kit

Who needs money when there’s GOLD in them thar hills! Get back to the gold standard with this gold panning kit. Designed for quick gold recovery with a green color to enhance gold detection. Nothing is manlier than telling the banks to shove it and taking your money right out of Mother Earth’s womb!

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