The Masters of Manliness

You have entered the Hall of the Masters. Each of these six men have achieved perfection in the ways manliness. They come here to tell their tales, to share their ways, and to high five really hard to see who winces first.

The Dad

The Dad

The Dad looks like your average, everyday Joe but he might just be the manliest of them all.  Clad in a pull over polo shirt and a bristle broom mustache, The Dad derives his strength from Cuban cigars, the perfection of a well-groomed lawn, and his complete Clint Eastwood VHS collection. He’s a hard working man and King of his castle. With his wife and kids as his subjects he bestows his wisdom upon them and the local little league baseball team he coaches. The Dad is a benevolent King but don’t give him any lip, or you might just get the belt!

The Lumberjack

The Lumberjack

Living his life deep within the woods, The Lumberjack is the ultimate woodsman. He’s a friend to the animals speaking both badger and bald eagle. With his trusty axe, he’s the ultimate do-it-yourselfer. Carving anything out of wood, including a spice racks, miniature tea sets, and the best chainsaw art bear you’ve ever seen.  But above all else, he’s a Lumberjack and he’s O.K.

The Adventurer

The Adventurer

In a world of office workers and sheeple, The Adventurer is a lone wolf. A wanderer who not only marches to the beat of his own drum, but he also made that drum from crap he found in his basement. He’s a man’s man who only wears leather and smells of the open road. He’s responsible finding ALL of ancient artifacts in The Smithsonian, St. Louis Natural History Museum, and The Liberachi Museum in Las Vegas, NV. While archeology is his main game, spends most of his free time crafting his own clothes from leather and duct tape. The Adventurer is truly a man of the world, a man of action, and a man who drifts with the breeze.

The Playboy

The Playboy

Born from a love of jazz, fuzzy moccasin slippers, and cool menthol cigarettes, The Playboy can charm his way into the coldest of hearts and the hottest of pants. He loves a classy shindig, a strong cocktail, and a scantily clad woman at his side. But if there’s anything he knows, it’s how to get down to business. The Playboy is the world’s only quintuple spy agent, working for the CIA, MI6, the KGB, The French Government, and The Canadian Mounties concurrently. Who does he really work for? No one but himself, and his 700 lady “attendants.”

The Salty Sea Dog

The Salty Sea Dog

Well shiver me timbers! It’s the Salty Sea Dog! A truer wild man there never was. He’s a bearded ocean denizen with tales and adventures as long as the sea is deep. The only sailor to release the Kraken, and then put it back again. When he’s not taming a sea squid or making out with a mermaid, The Salty Sea Dog can be found in the galley serving up his favorite sea snack, fish sticks.

The Warrior

The Warrior

The Warrior is the primal core of manliness. A muscle bound animal who uses his vast knowledge of weaponry and hand to hand combat to conquer and pillage. He wears only a loincloth and two small arm bands, but somehow has at least seven large bladed weapons hidden on him at all times.  Not being one to talk, The Warrior chooses to do his talking with his fists. After winning titles in MMA, UFC, and Tai Kwon Do fighting arenas, The Warrior took to fighting Kung Fu trained Grizzly Bears in his own private junkyard. He Currently has a win record of 270 wins and 0 losses.

Start the conversation