The Lumberjack’s Holiday Gift Guide

The Holidays are almost here and if you’re a Lumberjack like me, then you’re tired of getting axes, flannel, and chainsaws at every holiday gift exchange. Enough already! I may be a Lumberjack, but that’s not all. I am a man. A man who likes things… many different things! And while I do love chopping down a big old Douglas Fir clad in the thickest of flannels, there is more to me than lumberjacking. That’s why I’ve compiled this Holiday gift guide. For all the misunderstood Lumberjacks out there who want just a little more. Enjoy!

Red “Union Suit” Long Johns

Up in the wintery north, boxer briefs and underoo’s just don’t cut it. Sometimes a man needs a second skin to protect against the elements, and sometimes that skin needs to be bright red with a flap to take a dump out of. That’s why there’s the Union Suit Long Johns. A perfect blend of cotton, wool and nylon for those cold wintery nights. Get it here.

Pine Scented Soap

Are you a man who loves the woods? Do you love it so much you just want to rub a tree all over your body? Well now you can you big manly weirdo! With this soap stump you’ll enter your shower a sweaty pile of stink meat and leave smelling of pine and the natural glories of nature. Get it here.

Cast Iron Grizzly Bear

Let this Grizzly Bear Bottle Opener be your spirit animal as you chug down a few bottles. Summon the power of the bear and use his mighty jaw to open your beverages! Get it here.

Camo Recliner

No one will see you snoozing in this camouflage recliner. Perfect for the lazy hunter, the outdoor living room enthusiast, or any guy who wants to just fade into the background when it’s “that time of the month” for the Mrs. Get it here.

Amish Beard Balm

In the world of manliness, the Amish are masters in two categories: 1. Barn Raising and 2. Beard Grooming. So we’re not horsin’ around when we recommend this Honest Amish Beard Balm. Sooth your itchy-no-more wild chin forest the way the Amish do and your facial hair will be the bell of the beard ball! Get it here.

Carve an Eagle with a Chainsaw

It’s a problem that plagues all of us Manly Men: “I’ve got all these logs laying around and I’ve got nothing to do with them!” Well quit your bitching and start making some eagles! This book will show you how. Transform all your firewood into a variety of eagles. Who needs to stay warm for the winter when you can have eagle’s heads, eagles with fish, soaring eagles, and eagle benches taking up space all over your back yard? Nobody, that’s who. So grease up your chainsaw and get this book now. Get it here.

Gold Panning Kit

Who needs money when there’s GOLD in them thar hills! Get back to the gold standard with this gold panning kit. Designed for quick gold recovery with a green color to enhance gold detection. Nothing is manlier than telling the banks to shove it and taking your money right out of Mother Earth’s womb! Get it here.

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